Stop me if you’ve heard this before…
To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.
Have you ever found yourself completely exasperated by your kids, your spouse, your parents, friends or co-workers? Like, you know they’re speaking some dialect of “human” but you just don’t completely understand them?
You’re not alone. Truth be told – they don’t understand you either. It’s like everyone is walking around speaking perfectly intelligible words, but, for whatever reason, we just don’t understand them.
We may as well walk around speaking gibberish! If nothing else, it might illicit some smiles!
So, why is it that everyone seems to be speaking the same language but at the same time seems to be completely missing the point?
It’s because most people are unaware of what Love Language others are speaking.
Ultimately, people don’t know they don’t know that language because, well, it’s not part of our reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic curriculum. Rather, a person’s love language is learned in relationship with loved ones.
I shop for books everywhere: the book store (of course), the grocery store, online, the drug store, at thrift stores, I have even purchased books from door-to-door salespersons. So one day, when I was roaming around the grocery store – you know, because the kids were at school and the hubby was at work and…because I was totally enjoying NOT doing laundry – I turned down the greeting card aisle. In my neck of the woods, there are a few different sections of books that you’ll see in every grocery store:
Well, this beautiful little book was sitting in the religion section and caught my attention:
I had no idea that there was any such thing as a Love Language. And the cover was pretty cute, so I decided to buy it.
Honestly, it took me two evenings to read it. I devoured the text and found myself saying, “aha” more times than I could count. I was finally getting to understand why I was having behavioral issues with my kids, why I felt like they were being disrespectful, why this and why that!
It was a relief to know that I could remedy all of our troubles (or most of them) by paying more attention to how they communicated love.
See, kids aren’t manipulative like adults are. They can and will tell you, in no uncertain terms, exactly what they like, what they do not like, what they want, and how they want it. But adults try to control things. Wait, let me speak for myself – I try to control things. I used to show love in the way I wanted love shown to me and if my kids didn’t like it then I perceived them as being ungrateful and spoiled. Perception is reality, so I believed my children were rotten. And that’s hurtful. It was hurtful for them and for me.
But reading The 5 Love Languages of Children really helped me to see my mistakes.
I found out that if I choked down my own selfishness and started to pay attention to my sweet little boys, they would tell or show me exactly how they wanted me to love them. Because I’m the adult and therefore the responsible party in all of this, I had the ability to fill their love tanks and end all the bitterness and resentment in my own heart and help them feel loved and safe so they could act lovingly and sweetly in return.
To get back to what Mr. Confucius said, “to know what you know and what you do not know…” Well, I know that I love my children. That’s a no-brainer.
What I didn’t know that I didn’t know was that they were speaking a different love language than me. When I learned about their love languages, I gained knowledge so that I could be a better mom.
Maybe that’s where you are right now? You feel like you’re doing so much to make your family happy…
- you work long hours;
- you cook healthy, delicious meals;
- you hug your family members;
- you do fun activities with them;
- you praise them and their accomplishments
…but they just don’t appreciate anything you do! Well, I think it’s time that you learn something new! It’s time for you to know what you didn’t know you didn’t know…buy this book!